Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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