this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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