what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
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