Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
