nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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