____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
