Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
