how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize