Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I AM VODKA MAN
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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