Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
