My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
