i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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