Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
