Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
