sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
