i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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