its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
