It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
