I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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