kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
