hotel room ftw
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize