i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
