put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
