I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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