very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
