He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
