You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
