I can text with my tongue
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
