so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I want to fling myself into the sun
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
