He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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