i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
