So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
