Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize