I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
