I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
