I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you would pick up someone in the library
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Randomize
