i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
