so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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