shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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