im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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