She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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