i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
