Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize