I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
