Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
tell me about the fingering
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