I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
