I want to walk on stilts...naked
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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