Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
