ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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