I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize