he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
