so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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