I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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