This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
