So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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