Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
