yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
