I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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