I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
