How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
