her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
